I have been chewing on the power of 'being offended' to rob us of so much. We may have concerns, questions, disappointment about situations and people... but when we become deeply offended all sorts of mayhem starts to muddy the waters.
Because offence is a matter of a heart condition - and you can talk all you want to try and unravel misunderstanding, or ask all your questions and get clear answers, or receive apologies till the cows come home.... and you can still feel the same heavy, painful, sticky, yukky, angry, tear-inducing, stomach-churning feelings of offense. And your head never stops hashing things over and over.
Offense has many friends that all decide to pile in and invade our hearts. There is anger and resentment. There is disortion and fear. There is blame and accusation. And judgements, deciding we know a person's motive and meaning. Then the inability to see any good in others. We can also slide into self-pity, justification, arguments... and so it goes on and on. The enemy has a field day!
It dawned on me recently that 'offence' is a weight we need not carry, because it is one of those things Jesus carried to the cross so we can be set free from it. He did not die for our differences of opinion, or the various ways we view life, or the values we hold dear that can be trampled on by others... But he did die for us to have in exchange for our hurt a free and joyful and loving heart. And offence robs us of that completely.
We have got the idea that if only 'they' would only say the right things - or assure us they will never hurt us again... then we will feel free and feel OK again. This is a misconception of how it all works. Only Jesus can heal our wounded hearts, and take the weight of offence and hurt off us. When we say "I can never forgive them... what they did to me was so painful," we are pushing Jesus away and saying "You have nothing to offer me..." This is part of the blinding effect that offence can have on us. We get fixated on 'them' and lose sight of the Lord and all he is wanting to give to us at this time. And our enemy rubs his hands in glee.
Offense can be laid down - thrown off. Hebrew 12: 1 says, "Let us throw off everything that hinders...and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Offence is heavy and confusing and blinding. If we do not throw it off we will stagger off the path and get lost. We can off-load offence by forgiving others and renouncing offence and asking for the grace to accept the weakness and sin and frailties of others. Most of what is thrown at us in life is out of the hurt and sinfulness of others. It is not simply maliciousness. People react out of their hurt and offence.
I have of late decided to REFUSE to be offended any more and to bring all the hurt or confusion to the Lord and ask him to be my comforter and healer. I can never get wisdom and direction for dealing with misunderstandings through holding onto offence. Whenever I find it in me I ask the question, "Where did this pain first start...? Lord show me the root." It could be years back. It is often a sign of a deep fear. I fear I will lose something precious to me.
Another truth I use to ward off offence is to declare, "God intends good to me all the time." He says he will NEVER stop doing me good. There is always good for me in this situation, and good for the other people involved if only we will seek for it and lay aside our offense and hurt.
Father of compassion, God of all mercy and grace... thank you that Jesus bore for me all the offences and hurts I will ever encounter. There is no pain I experience that he did not take to the cross. I ask for your healing of my wounded heart. I freely forgive those who have hurt and offended me... I pray the prayer that Jesus prayed, "Father forgive them... and I too forgive them... they know not what they do."
I renounce offense and all it's friends and tell you to leave me in Jesus name. I will not entertain you any longer. The blood of Jesus cleanses my heart and my mind, my emotions and my imagination.
Thank you Jesus. Now I ask for your insight and wisdom into this situation. And I anticipate your goodness flowing into my life and washing over the others involved. DO US ALL GOOD as we look to you alone to bring resolution.
In Jesus' name .... and for his glory.
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