If he has given us Christ....

Rom.8:31-32 says "If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

This Christmas I decided I wanted to be in a singing event. I used to be in a big choir and miss that. So I joined a women's chorus who do acapella four part singing (barbershop style). We have learnt nine pieces and will sing them this Sunday afternoon. There are two carols and one NZ Christmas song. The conductor called Silent Night a 'sweet' song. I was moved  in my spirit by it - after singing Christmas ditties like 'I'm dreaming of a white Christmas' 'Rocking around the Christmas tree" etc. !! My husband rolls his eyes at all this Christmas cultural sentimentality, but he will come to the performance. I am even wearing a necklace of flashing lights for the occasion!

So much of Christmas is sentimentality - apart from the cultural elves, reigndeer, etc etc. We are touched by the 'little baby' - the stars and angels... the shepherds delight and the wise men's wonder. But the verse above tells us something so uch more profound - this child became the man who died for us - and lives for us - and is the doorway to "all things"!

David, my husband, preached on Sunday on 2 Cor 9:6-15 (have a look at it) and verse 8 says "And God is able to make all grace abound (overflow) to you, so that having all that you need in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work." LOOK AT ALL THE ALLS!!!

The point here is that the coming of Jesus released to us ALL that we need - for all situations - at all times. Not just for our sins, our past, our entrance into eternal life, but for all of life. We have but to receive that grace (his ability) in all of life situations. A number of times this week we have been stretched and began to react to some perceived injustice or blockage to what we had presumed would happen... and I have had to stop myself and say that verse "God IS able to make all grace abound to me, in all things... so I have all I need..." And everything changed within me as I said that. I came to inner rest.

His coming to us - to be our life - our death - our resurrection has released to us FAR, far more than we realise. ALL we need, in fact. All the grace, courage, wisdom, insight, rest, peace, patience, generosity.... we will ever need. It goes way, way beyond sentimentality, being moved by a song, writing a few cheques for the needy. ALL things, at all times, in all situations. He's got it all covered. Christ in us is his perfect life in us. We must sink back into him when under duress. Sink back into him for every moment to be his life and not ours. I have for a few years now felt that this is God's most (MOST) ingenius solution to our sinful ways - to put the perfect life of Christ IN US as our substitute. (Too big a topic to explore now - breakfast awaits!!)

But get hold of the 'all things' this Christmas. It will transform how you view your day, your challenges, your impossibilities. All grace - for all things. Wow! Worship out of that wonder.

Curious Christmas Contradictions

I was just going into a Christian 2nd hand shop and stopped to admire the lovely nativity scene in the front window. Great display - nice message... then I walked through the door to be confronted by a nearly 7 foot (over two metres) Father Christmas. A really 'in your face' moment.... how jarring! Then I noticed a sign pinned on him - 'Not for Sale'!!! Whatever next???? I think WE have sold out to the jolly fat red man. Sigh....
My antidope to all this is three things.
1) give to the needy... after all that is who Jesus came for. We should give more away than we spend on gifts and food for family. For many years our Christmas Day was spent doing a local community dinner for those on their own. Deeply satisfying.
2) worship deeply - and we do this mostly through going to a choral evening of lovely music and allowing our hearts to be lifted up in worship. Sometimes we arrange a time of music and reflection at our house or at the church. Giving a whole evening to pondering on the wonder of his coming is barely enough... Every year I say 'I will do a 5 day retreat next year instead of all this rushing about!' But as we are moving house shortly, it will not be this year.
3) celebrate family... Somewhere around the weeks before and after Christmas we do family things. It no longer has to be 'on the day'. What a relief. And we spread them out - with no pressure - just the joy of connecting and food and making memories.
Find some joy and harmony .... and mostly find him in this season. Otherwise it is a contradiction.

Praying on the job

A friend told me a great story the other day. She is a nurse and was part of a team caring for a young babywith bronchitus on a night shift, and they were trying to keep him ventilated. It was a huge struggle and they thought at one point they might lose him. My friend kept praying, then at one point she said she cried out from the depths of her being (silently) for the life of this child. A little while later things improved and they all breathed a sigh of relief.

She asked the specialist 'What changed?' He said he was standing there and a new idea came to his mind and he tried it, and it worked. And the baby lived. Wow! The Spirit working in the mind and heart of a doctor who did not know him, because of the deep cry of another. Is this being 'salt and light' in the world? Do we realise the power of prayer in our hearts and mouths for those daily situations that frustrate and confuse us in daily life?

Pray 'on the job' at all times. With thanksgiving. He has tied his hands to our prayers. What a privilege!

Heart Hydration in a busy life

Heart hydration is the daily drinking in of his presence, his peace, his love… whatever we need to receive from him in our busy lives. It can be done by simple means in brief snatches of time. Developing these as habits can keep our hearts open in busy seasons. The state of our heart and it’s journey to daily rest and peace is of great interest to the Lord.


1. Use your doorways. We all have things that can almost instantly refresh or inspire us. It may be certain kinds of music, a place we go to, a statement we make, something we read, even a person to have a coffee with. Find what works for you and chose it often. One for me is water - especially the sea.

2. Take the Word into your day. Scripture is a ‘living word’ so chewing on it can release life to our hearts and often insight into our minds as well. Find a short phrase that is current for you, and ‘breathe’ it in and out a number of times to let it settle into you. Expect the Spirit to keep bringing it to mind in those short spaces in your day. Sinking into these moments of breathed prayer are especially calming and restore balance and energy. I am using "Lord Jesus, have mercy..." for many situations.

3. See yourself as ‘beloved’. At our conversion the Spirit immersed us ‘in Christ’ not just to make us ‘one body’ with each other, (1 Cor.12:13) but to make us one with him. So we are ‘in the beloved’- therefore the deep love of the Father for Jesus also envelopes us. (Ephes.1:3-6) We can say at any time of the day or night ‘The Father is loving me now.’ ‘The Father of compassion, the God of all comfort (2 Cor.1:3) is loving me now.’

This is a ‘theological discipline’ – a choice to believe a truth that sets us free from being absorbed by our feelings of failure, lack, sinfulness, weakness… The effect of declaring this reality to our hearts opens a door to that love being tangibly experienced as peace, or joy, or tenderness… He IS loving us now.

For more understanding about the love of the Father that envelopes us – see www.fatherheart.net and the teaching by James Jordan on CD ‘The Centrality of the Heart’ and others. Also www.fatherlovesyou.com and the books, DVDs and CDs of Ed Piorek. I can send you a list of mp3s to access for free also – contact me at wellsprings@xtra.co.nz

4. Never hesitate to ask someone else to pray with you. We have an incredible ability to speak life and blessing on each other. When you have had a conversation with someone say to them – “Would you pray a blessing on me now?” It can be simply 3 or 4 sentences… and it will do them a power of good to speak into your heart this way. Stand with them, and ask them to hold your hand or put a hand on your shoulder as they do. You may well receive a special ‘word from the Lord’. (A thought for those who are often with needy or unsaved people – have in your pocket a little card with a scripture and prayer on it. Just a few lines. Then you can ask them if they will read it as a ‘blessing’ to you. This could be transformational for them and will probably make you cry! You could let them take it away to pray over their friends and family.)

5. Don’t hesitate to offer a brief prayer of blessing to another wherever or whatever you are doing. This draws on the ‘well of living water’ in you – and you will be refreshed as you do so. Pause and think of the Father loving and blessing this person now, and of the mercy and tenderness of Jesus for them before you formulate your prayer. Again – touch them with your hand if you can. This is another ‘theological discipline’ of acting out of the realities that perhaps we don’t feel at that time. The Spirit will honour our faith.

6. Stop and smell the roses… When going from a) to b) – schedule in a spare 10 minutes or more to stop somewhere that blesses you and drink in the wonder of creation – or take a few moments to walk and breathe your scripture – or have a quiet coffee and let your mind and heart and body come into agreement of his presence and his peace before your next appointment.

A received life

I heard this statement recently. "The Christian life is a received life". (By Ed Piorek I think) I have been pondering on this for some days. I guess another way of saying it is 'Everything we are we have received from him.' Somehow we know this is true - and yet we find it hard to stay as 'a receiver'.

We have these scripts in our head that having once 'believed and received' our salvation for free we now have to 'do it all right' in order to deserve more. Or maybe we have asked and not received as we had hoped, so now we have stopped asking or expecting anything will come our way. We are 'going through the motions.' Hmmm. Or we think we must always 'position' ourselves right to receive. If I fast and pray and worship and wait on him....

I have been in all those places. But I keep being drawn to books or accounts where God is pouring out all manner of blessings (see the latest blog on http://www.ffald-y-brenin.org/) and my heart just aches for more 'receiving'. Ever since I received a huge outpouring of the Spirit with such freedom and love at the age of 30, I cannot settle for the doddle that most of our Christian life is. Is this wrong? Or am I meant to be a perpetual 'seeker'?

Actually, there is a mid-way point between these two extremes - doddle and desire. And it is drinking daily. We can receive daily fresh bread, fresh water, another 'hug' of joy from our Abba. I think it is about a theology (belief grid) of 'presence'. Are we not 'in him' and therefore beloved of the Father? Is he not 'in us' and therefore his joy and peace and wisdom resides in us....? The secret is to access all these manifold blessings by a life of resting in them. Aha....

I am about to speak about this to a group of ministers. My husband said it sounded like 'spiritual speed dating'. Hmmmm. Not quite. Rather 'Heart hydration'.  More when I have completed my prep!
Meantime - keep receiving. Think 'waterfall' and stand under it.

The flame of love

More excerpts from the story of the Marechele - who brought revival wherever she went.
In 1881 Catherine Booth went to Paris with three companions to begin the work.


What were the ideas with which Catherine began her work in Paris? What was her plan of campaign? How did she hope to conquer?

“I saw,” she says, “that the bridge to France was – making the French people believe in me. That is what the Protestants do not understand. They preach the Bible, they write books, they offer tracts. But that does not do the work. ‘Curse your Bibles, your books, your tracts!’ cry the French. I have seen thousands of Testaments given away to very little purpose. I have seen them torn up to light cigars. And the conviction that took shape in my mind was that unless I could inspire faith in me, there was no hope. Only if Jesus is lifted up in flesh and blood, will He today draw all men to Him. If I cannot give Him, I shall fail. France has not waited till now for religion, for preaching, for eloquence. Something more is needed. ‘I that speak unto thee am He’ – there is a sense in which the world is waiting for that today. Christ’s primary idea, His means of saving the world is, after all, personality. The face, the character, the life of Jesus is to be seen in men and women.

“This is the bridge to the seething masses who believe in nothing, who hate religion, who cry, ‘Down with Jesus Christ!’ What sympathy I felt with them as I listened to their angry cries against something which they had never really seen or known. They shout ‘Jesuits,’ but they have never seen Jesus. Could they but see Him, they would still ‘receive Him gladly.’ France is more sensitive to disinterested love than any nation I have ever known. France will never accept a religion without sacrifice.

“These were the convictions with which I began the work in Paris, and if I had to begin it over again today I would go on the same lines. When I knew what I had to do, my mind was at rest. I said, ‘We will lay ourselves out for them; they shall know where we live, they can watch us day and night, they shall see what we do and judge us.’ And the wonderful thing in those first years of our work in France and Switzerland was the flame. We lighted it all along the line. Wherever we went we brought the fire with us, we fanned it, we communicated it. We could not help doing so, because it was in us, and that was what made us sufferers. The fire had to be burning in us day and night. That is our symbol – the fire, the fire!

Lord what my heart wants – it is the fire
The only secret of victory – it is the fire.

We all know what the fire is; it warms and it burns; it scorches the Pharisees and makes the cowards fly. The poor, tempted, unhappy world knows by whom it is kindled and says, ‘I know Thee who Thou art – the Holy One of God!’

That was what filled the halls at Havre and Rouen, Nimes and Bordeaux, Brussels and Liege. We personified Some One, and that was the attraction. I have not the insufferable conceit to suppose that it was anything in me that drew them. What am I? Dust and ashes. But if you have the fire, it draws, it melts; it consumes all selfishness; it makes you love as He loves; it give you a heart of steel to yourself, and the tenderest of hearts to others; it gives you eyes to see what no one else sees, to hear what others have never given themselves the trouble to listen to. And men rush to you because you are what you are; you are as He was in the world; you have His sympathy, His Divine love, His Divine patience. Therefore He gives you victory over the world: and what is money, what are houses, lands, anything, compared with that?

“This was the one attraction. When I went to France I said to Christ: ‘I in you and You in me!’ and many a time in confronting a laughing, scoffing crowd, single-handed, I have said ‘You and I are enough for them. I won’t fail You, and You won’t fail me.’ That is something of which we have only touched the fringe. That is a truth almost hermetically sealed. It would be sacrilege, it would be desecration, it would be wrong, unfair, unjust, if Divine power were given on any other terms than absolute self-abandonment. When I went to France I said to Jesus, ‘I will suffer anything if you will give me the keys.’ And if I am asked what was the secret of our power in France? - I answer: First, love; second, love; third, love. And if you ask how to get it, I answer: First by sacrifice; second, by sacrifice; third, by sacrifice. Christ loved us passionately, and loves to be loved passionately. He gives Himself to those who love Him passionately. And the world has yet to see what can be done on these lines.”

Duty and love

The sense of duty may become morbid if it is not transmuted by love. Many servants of God never learn the secret which makes Christ’s yoke easy and His burden light. They have to confess to themselves that they cannot say, “To do Thy will, O Lord, I take delight.”

It would be strange if any of the Booth children had not learned the secret. Catherine discovered it early, learned it thoroughly, and it became in after years one of the hidden sources of her power. As a child she lived in union with Christ; she practised and felt the Real Presence; she understood that Christianity is a Divine Service transfigured by a Divine Friendship. In Victoria Park there was a shady alley where she was in the habit of walking, because Some One walked beside her! In Clifton, where she lived for a time, she had a tiny upper room in which she felt that she was never alone. That was her childhood’s religion, which she never needed to change. She found it to be utterly independent of time and place, form and ceremony. In the glare of public life, in the storm of persecution, in the hour of temptation and danger, she always had a cathedral into which she could retire that she might find peace. She was spiritually akin with the Hebrew mystics who lived in the secret place of the Most High, who had at all times a pavilion from the strife of tongues. In her Neuchatel prison she wrote some simple words that sent a thrill through the heart of Christian Europe:

Best Beloved of my soul, I am here alone with Thee;
And my prison is a heaven, Since Thou sharest it with me.

Whatever gifts were the dower of the young evangelist, she never regarded herself as different in God’s sight from the poorest and meanest of sinners. If God loved her, He loved all with an equal love. That conviction was the motive-power of all her evangelism. A limited atonement was to her unthinkable. How often she made vast audiences sing her father’s great hymn, “O boundless salvation, so full and so free!”

When she was conducting a remarkable campaign in Portsmouth (around the age of 17), she found herself one day among a number of the ministers of the town, one of whom in his admiration of her and her work persisted in calling her one of the elect. This led to an animated discussion on election. Katie listened for a while, but lost patience at last, and rising, delivered herself thus: “I am not one of the elect, and I don’t want to be. I would rather be with the poor devils outside than with you inside.” Having discharged this bombshell she flew upstairs to her mother. “Oh!” she cried, “what have I done?” When she repeated what she had said, her mother, whose laugh was always hearty, screamed with delight. Election as commonly taught was rank poison to the Mother of the Army. The doctrine that God had out of His mere good pleasure elected some to eternal life made her wild with indignation.

The world is waiting for you.

I have been reading two accounts of the life of William and Catherine Booth's eldest daughter Katie. She became an astounding evangelist and leader, starting the work of the Salvation Army in France and Switzerland. Here is a snippet of her story, more to come.

The Booth children were left in no mist of doubt as to their future. There was an end, a point, a purpose, in their life. They grew up in an atmosphere of decision. Many children are made timid, diffident, and ineffective by their training. They are constantly told how naughty they are till they begin to believe that they are good for nothing. The Booth parents acted on a different principle. They had faith in their children and for their children. When Katie was still a little girl in socks, her mother would say to her, “Now Katie, you are not here in this world for yourself. You have been sent or others. The world is waiting for you.” What an idea that was to send a little girl to bed with! There she turned the words over and over in her own mind, “Mother says the world is waiting for me. Oh, I must be good … How selfish I was in taking that orange!” The lesson was worth 1,000 pounds to a child. In the development of Katie’s mind and character her mother’s influence was naturally very strong. The fellowship between them soon became peculiarly intimate, and it was the mother’s joy to find her alter ego in the daughter who bore her name.

What is faith?

Life has been a bit topsy turvey. Hubby David had a heart attack and a couple of stents put in and a month off... now getting back into normal life. Also our little church has finally found a new pastor, a young and zealous evangelist who will I am sure renew us all and awaken us to our true calling to reach the lost. Yeah!

 But I have also been chewing on Bill Johnson's writings on faith. And wondering... Do we pray out of duty (this is what we do...) or need (they need our prayers...) or faith - being 'anchored in the unseen' and taking hold of the provisions of his grace and refusing to 'let go until he bless' us? I heard a woman pray in church, and she was giving thanks for some family member who had been ill and now was out of danger. She said 'We prayed because it was our duty, but you came and you saved him.' Hmmm. When we do it 'out of duty' or out of need, is there faith in there? Probably... but faith in what? If "faith is the substance of what we hope for.... and the evidence of what is yet unseen - what 'substance' was taken hold of?

 I think sometimes our 'I guess we better pray' kind of prayers are taking hold of the substance of God's care, his love, his ability to do something IN GENERAL. It is the mustard seed faith. But what if we had a real sense of that 'substance' available for that need? What if we 'saw' and 'felt' it in our spirit and even had inner 'evidence' of what we do not yet have? Can we? Is it possible? Yes it is. The great 'faith chapter' of Hebrews 11 is all about people who took hold of something unseen and it was so real to them that they could hold onto it regardless... Visionaries, dreamers are like that. But is that 'normal faith'? Actually, I think it is. Because we are not people who have just physical sight, but we have spiritual eyes that can see into the unseen. We can hear what is not of this earth (yet is here on this earth). It is all about cultivating our ability to see, hear and tap into the 'life from above' that is here among us now. There is another realm. We live in it, we breathe it, sleep in it... and yet are often so tuned out to it that we are unaware.

 I guess it could be like the amazing world of living microbe thingies... unseen, yet very real. The evidence of them is known and recognised - but we need microscopes to see them. The things all on and in our bodies, our beds, our floors, our lawns.... An amazing unseen reality. I want that kind of faith in the unseen - for the situations that that seem not to change. Those that bring heart-ache and longing. Open my eyes Lord! Open my ears more and more. Let me be 'anchored in the unseen' so that my prayers and my declarations bring them into reality here and now, for my friends, family and the burdens on my heart.

A prayer for all occasions

All through the centuries, since the time of the early church, there is a prayer that has been prayed a million times. It is in the story of the pharisee and the publican, and also in the story of the blind man, Bartimeus. "Lord Jesus, have mercy.” One man cries out these words because he knows he is a sinner, in need of forgiveness. Another man cries out because he wants Jesus to heal him. And each time – they received what they asked for.

This simple prayer can be prayed at any time in our day. We can pray it for our families. “Lord Jesus, have mercy… on my wife, on my chidren… be gracious to them. Show them your love today.”
We can pray it for the prodigals – those we know who have wandered from God – “Lord Jesus, have mercy… bring them home to the Father.”
We can pray it for our enemies – those who make our life hard. “Lord Jesus, have mercy…soften their hearts, reveal your love to them.”
We can pray it when we are in trouble… “Lord Jesus, have mercy… give me a new job.” Lord Jesus, have mercy… help me forgive.”

It is a prayer to plead with the Lord about others. It is a prayer to pray for ourselves. “Lord Jesus, have mercy.”
The first two words declare that he is Lord – he is the one who rules. He is the Lord of all – he can intervene and change lives and change hearts at any time. But he waits for our co-operation. He waits for our hearts to cry out to him. He waits for our prayers of faith. He waits for our hearts to be willing for him to take charge with his loving rule. He rules with love and great wisdom.

And he is Jesus – the one who saves – the one who rescues. He is the one who understands every longing, every heartache, every need that we have. He shared our life fully. So we can be confident when we come that he will be compassionate and merciful towards us.

And we know that the name of Jesus has power. Our enemy hates that name. It is the name that puts our enemies to flight – it is the name that is above all other names – so we can use it with confidence.
“Lord – my Lord – Jesus – my Saviour – have mercy.”

In Lamentations 3:23 Jeremiah declares that the Lord’s mercy is new every morning. He is always full of mercy. This is his loving-kindness. He cannot stop being merciful. Every time the sun rises – his mercy floods this world again. He does not get tired of being merciful.

“Lord Jesus, have mercy..” say it aloud now. “Lord Jesus, have mercy.”

Think about your family – say it for them… for their health, for their work, for the future of the young ones, for the peace of the older ones. Every day we can pray this prayer for our families. “Lord Jesus, have mercy on Mary… give her a new job”

Think about your own needs. “Lord Jesus, have mercy… I need your compassion… I need your love.”
Say it again now. “Lord Jesus, have mercy.”

When we see the troubles of this world we can pray this. “Lord Jesus, have mercy on our leaders, as they seek to do the right thing.” “Lord Jesus, have mercy on nations where there is famine and disaster. Send relief.”

It is a simple prayer. It is a prayer of the heart. I find if I say it a few times, it opens my heart to feeling his tenderness and his love. As his mercy comes to us, we become tender and merciful to others.

We can say it in our times alone with God. Just say it slowly, “Lord Jesus, have mercy on me.” We do not even need to say any more words. He knows our hearts, he knows every part of our lives. So use it often when you are alone with God. You can say it as you drive. You can say it as you lie in bed, trying to go to sleep. You can say it while you are working. It is so simple. It will keep you close to him.

It is a prayer that can echo in us all day. Each phrase can be said as we breathe in and out. In – Lord Jesus, out – have mercy. I find that if I pray it this way, then my breathing still echoes it – even when I have stopped praying it. Our whole being can be praying. Not just our words or our thoughts.
“Lord Jesus – have mercy.” Say it again. “Lord Jesus, have mercy.” And he does! His tender mercy is here now.

This prayer can take us into the arms of our Father, our Abba. Jesus wants to show him to us. He wants us to know that we are ‘beloved’. So pray it this way often. “Lord Jesus, have mercy. Show me Father’s love.”
Say it now. “Lord Jesus, have mercy. Show me Father’s love.”
Remember to say it slowly, with your heart. And wait for his tender mercy to fill your heart.

Living memories

A life-giving understanding has awakened for me.

Think of a time when something really special happened between you and the Lord. He spoke to you, or he revealed his presence in a lovely way. Think about it, remember it, and you will begin to feel what you felt at that time. It will 'come alive' for you again.

This is because it IS alive. You touched the eternal, and so that event still remains alive, and has the power to connect you again to that love or joy or awe or tenderness that the Lord evoked in you.

John urges us to 'return to your first love.' We CAN do that by recalling what happened, what it was like, what we felt about him... Then that love will come alive again to us. It is a precious and deeply meaningful place in our memory, in our very being, and it cannot die!

Some feel they 'lose their faith'. It may well be they develop cynicism and doubt and feel that no hope or faith is left. But that memory is still there, if deeply buried. And that gives us hope as we pray for them, that the Lord will rekindle the love and joy they once had. It is still there and the Lord can whisper to them 'return, return to that place and recapture that sense of being home.'

The Lord treasures all these times and holds them to his heart. So should we. When we are anxious and fretful late into the night - return to those places of safety and warmth and rest by remembering and savouring those times again. They are alive in us. Bring them to the forefront of your memory and live in them again.

Remember a Scripture that spoke life to you. Say it again a number of times and let your heart reconnect to the sense of peace it brought. Living in the 'now' is not all it's cracked up to be!! We have eternal treasures tucked away in us. Let them shine, let them glow, let them sing to us again.

When little becomes much

I was arrested by the story of the loaves and fishes recently. What a shock for the disciples ... all those baskets of food left over, after handing over just five loaves and two fish. I could see the big smile on Jesus' face. I think he chuckled a lot at the reactions of people when he did miracles!

But how did this place of need and concern become a place of abundance? ("Enough to give away..." has long been our prayer - 2 Cor.9:11)I began to see a series of prayers there in this story.

First the prayer for compassion. When Jesus saw the crowds he felt compassion. He had gone to a remote place to get a rest! But the crowds had followed... and he had compassion and taught them and healed them.
We need to ask for such compassion. The disciples had concern...'What are we to do with them?' but not yet compassion. Compassion leads us to give of ourselves, to cry out to the Father to make us able to give more. It will take us to places we would not always choose, but we will go because compassion compels us. It will cause us to seek for innovative ways to meet the needs of others. It will make us a seeking, praying person. Let us cry out for the compassion of Jesus to flood our hearts for those we are to serve.

Then there is the prayer of helplessness. Jesus said to them 'You feed them!' What! How could they - it would cost a fortune. They felt helpless. John's gospel says this was a test from Jesus. Would they spin out - or would they look to him for the answer? There is a prayer we can pray in our helpless times. It is found in 2 Chronicles 20. In a time a national crisis, facing a crushing defeat, King Jehoshaphat cries out at the end of verse 12 "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."
This prayer opens the way to miracles. As long as we look for a natural solution we will not be able to receive his supernatural one. "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you." What a great prayer!

He took away their confusion by saying 'What do you have? Give it to me.' This seems to be his frequent request of us. 'Just give me what you have - no matter how little it is.' Then they hand over the little lunch they have. Surrender. Putting our all in his hands. Very simple, but often very hard. Why? Because it requires a deep trust. We feel we will lose something - but the reality is that our lives - every bit of them, are safer in his hands than ours. We have bought into the oldest of lies that we cannot trust God. Renounce that lie - and rest everything in his safest of hands. Pray the prayer of surrender.
Also what we need to believe is that what we have in our hands is enough... IF IT IS PUT IN HIS HANDS. It is not what we can do – it is what HE can do through what we put in his hands. And it is more than we can imagine. That's his promise.

Then there is a prayer from Jesus - he blesses the food - and it multiplies. He lifted it up to the Father and it became enough for thousands. He does this over and over as lives are laid down for his Kingdom's sake. One little life can feed thousands... and bring thousands into new life with him. We have to get out of the mentality that we are just one little insignificant life. No! No! No! We have the Lord of Life within us... so great multiplying is possible - if we have his compassion, if we own our helplessness, if we surrender all into his hands... then the blessing and sharing can begin.

What an amazing God we have - what a compassionate Father - what a marvellous Lord Jesus - what a shepherding Spirit who leads us into all truth and great fruitfulness.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

The truth about surrender

Since the garden of Eden, trusting God with all of our lives has been hard. Adam and Eve bought into the lie that God could not be trusted to act for our highest good. So they took matters into their own hands. We have inherited this instinct that if we don't make the choices and if we don't make life work for us - no-one else will.
And our life experiences often seem to confirm this!

So when Jesus says to us "Trust me with your whole life", we hesitate. We want guarantees. We can feel unsafe handing it all over to someone else. But the truth is that when God created us were always intended to live under his wise and loving rule. His plans and his ways and his intentions for our lives are the best that could ever be devised. Anything we intend is pathetic in contrast.

Surrendering the control of every part of our life to him is truly 'sweet surrender.' We no longer have to live in fear and worry - we no longer have to find all the answers. We no longer have to carry the weight of our choices. He will carry all the good and the bad - and work it out for our good. That's how it was always entended to work, as we partner with him. We are simply returning to the original wonderful life God shaped for us before sin came. Who wouldn't want that? It's a no-brainer!

Stunning stories

In a little corner of south-west Wales (UK)there are miracles happening. At the retreat centre called Ffald-y-Brenin, grace is being poured out in astonishing ways. I have just read in one sitting the book 'The Grace Outpouring' and am reeling with amazement. This is happening NOW! Read this story:

Sam had lost his wife to cancer in a short six months. He had many praying, supporting friends. One day he came to the retreat centre. He decided to walk down to the cross (a large one on the cliff overlooking the sea). About twenty yards away he could not go any further. It was as if he had hit a brick wall. Next day he tried again and the same thing happened. Then the Lord said 'I want to touch the grief in your heart.' He sobbed for some time. Then the Lord said 'I want to touch your tremendous anger.' And he raged for some time, then received the Lord's assurance of healing and that He had carried the pain of it all for some time.

Then he got up and walked straight to the cross and put his arms around it. He later said it felt like his heavenly Father put his arms around him. It was like two people who hadn't seen each other for some time, hugging like old friends.pp 105-6

Another story - One day an American woman rang and asked if she could come. She was a hippie type in her mid-twenties. She was desperate for a place to stay, but not into Christian things. So they did not press her about anything. But over the following days she came to chapel and the daily prayers and was willing to pray some simple daily prayers. On the Friday she stated over coffee that she disliked Christians because they said there was only one way to God. Without debate it was explained that Jesus made this claim.

The next morning she was trembling with excitement. "Why haven't you told me the truth?...Why didn't you tell me that God is my Father, that he made me, that he has a plan for my life? Why didn't you tell me that he loves me desperately, that I've never been on my own? Why didn't you tell me that Jesus really is his Son, that when he died he took my sin? Why didn't you tell me that he's exalted him to his right hand? Why didn't you tell me that Jesus can come now into my heart to live and make me a new person? Why didn't you tell me this?"

They stood there, open mouthed and asked, 'How did you know all this?'
"Because he's done it this morning, hasn't he? He's come into my heart and he's changed me; I'm a new person. Why didn't you tell me all this?"

She also said she had experienced 'the fire'. "He can put his fire on you so that you can blaze for him, and when you encounter other people, the fire he's put on you can touch other people, so they catch fire for him as well."

Later that day as she went for a walk she felt moved to speak to a man on the street. It was a word of prophecy for him. "God has said that he has heard your prayer, and you are not to worry, because he is responding to your prayer." He looked at her and burst into tears and asked if she was an angel! That morning he had cried out to God and asked him to indicate he had heard by sending an angel to tell him!

Then she went to the pub and a young man there noticed she was different to the last time he saw her. So she told him to come to Ffald-y-Brenin. So he drove there with her and as soon as he entered the chapel the Spirit fell on him and he wept for several hours non-stop and was completely transformed!
pp 34-38 The Grace Outpouring available from www.ffald-y-brenin.org

It makes my heart ache for this reality here among us! We live just expecting to be encouraged or warmed - not radically changed!! Fall on us Spirit of God. Do these works of grace and transformation.

The battle for our emotions

When Jesus said 'Fear not, I have overcome the world' - he was talking about all the turmoil of life, which tips us into fear. Our emotions can see-saw all over the place in a day. What can keep us without fear? (from James Jordan - see previous blog)
There is a battle for our emotions says James. And the solution in this case is not quoting Scripture or surrendering our will, but it is the Father's love that 'casts out fear'. "It takes an emotion (God's) to overwhelm and replace our emotions. As we are able to receive Father's love our emotional make-up will change. Not our personality, but the experience of yourself will be different and others will experience you differently.

Worry and fear can destroy us. We all have this in some measure. If we are tossed about by our emotions we are diminished in our effectiveness. Jesus was not disabled. He could live in peace and joy. The enemy could not disrupt who he was and the way he was walking in peace."

"His love in our hearts (tangibly) will change our emotional experience of ourselves. If you were completely convinced Almighty God loved you as his only child you wouldn't be able to worry if you tried. You would know he would do the best for you in all situations."

"Jesus is saying, "In me you can overcome the emotional roller-coaster from what is around you." We cannot transmit the love of the Father if the world is lord of our emotions. Come to the place where you truly want his peace."

I have 'experienced myself differently' of late. So many things no longer 'bug' me - it must be his peace residing in those previously touchy, easily offended places. I am experiencing my husband differently. He had an encounter with Love a few weeks back that has changed his emotional response to me, and to life. He is 'loving' things (enjoying things) that he was previously indifferent to. I keep feeling 'WOW -how amazing.'

But this is not a 'finished' work. Regularly the Lord exposes another area that needs surrendering, or renewing, or inviting a washing with love to happen. It is a delightful journey of renewal. I am not frustrated with the process as I was a year ago. I can see 'the way ahead'. It is a joy to see others discovering this too.

Our three battles

Listened to James Jordan on CD (www.fatherheart.net)teaching on what Jesus meant by 'I have overcome the world'. He said there are three battles for us.
The battle for our mind - which needs renewing by the Word.
The battle for our will - which needs to surrender to his will out of trust and
The battle for our heart - which needs to encounter the love of the Father because only his heart can heal and captivate our heart.
mmmm - lots to chew on.
(the 'overcoming the world' goes after this is understood - see next blog)

I am aware there are places in me where the enemy sneaks in still. Does that mean a) my mind is not renewed there, or b) my will is not surrendered (I cannot trust his goodness there) c) my heart is still wounded or not at rest in this place and needs more heart encounters?

I have settled on 'my will is not surrendered', because there is an inkling of distrust still. I found that distrust by asking 'what is underneath this behaviour?'
'Am I at rest, at peace on this?' NO! So there is some fear or distrust coming out of some experience. (Tracing it back is always helpful). So I am left with the question, 'How did that get in... what opened me up to this distrust?' This is now what I must take to the Lord for his renewal as I forgive.

We can know what is right and good, but our deep heart can be fearful/untrusting and reacting. What a joy to know that everything was provided for in the cross. The whole exchange was made by Jesus, so we can know the Father and walk in life and joy and trust in all things.

Keep on revealing Holy Spirit. I want to be free!

Is this why they turn away?

I have been reading and listening and watching lots of teaching about discovering the Father as our Abba, our Daddy. Time and again the speaker has said they knew Jesus as Saviour, then they encountered the Holy Spirit, but still something was missing for them and at a deep level they were insecure or locked up... until they encountered the Father's love. They now know that we need to know and experience all three persons of the Trinity.

A penny dropped for me the other day. I have often puzzled as to why people seem to really love the Lord - then later fall away to an apparent unbelief. 'I'm over that.' 'Tried it, doesn't work.' Is it possible that they did not really 'come home' to the the home we were created for - the home where all three are real and dear to us: Father, Son and Spirit? For unless we do there is a feeling that we are a bit of a split personality. Despite a 'renewed mind' and a heart that loves Jesus, and being open to the Spirit - there is a deep place within us that still distrusts, or is disappointed (and apt to question and misinterpret what God is doing). Or our faith is compromised by uncertainty.

People cannot continue to live with this lack of integration - these pockets of 'unbelief' deep within. Either we cover them up and become somewhat false and mechanical, or we live compromised lives that one day get exposed or we just drift into ungodly living. The 'unloved' and 'unhealed' part is our Achilles heel that makes us a special target for the enemy.

I wonder if this is why many turn away. They may well have know they are forgiven, and they belong to God... but perhaps have not encountered the power of the gospel to change them - and most certainly they haven't encountered the love of the Father to bring them deep security and confidence. What a shame. Who will tell them?

Resting and Roaring

I was journalling recently about how the flow of intercession that I have known for many years seems to have gone to a trickle. But realised that I am learning about resting prayer - learning simply to trust, as a child, and not work hard at prayer.

So I was taken aback recently to find myself roaring with 'authority' and indignation when praying with some friends. I used to roar at my three mischievious boys (out of frustration and a lack of grace!) but those days are well over - they are now in their 30s and 40s! So what was going on in these prayer-times?

The first time, I felt a rush of indignation and a 'this should not be' feeling - and I loudly quoted Scripture and paced about and declared what will be according to his word. The second time we were praying tenderly for a woman who has an affliction that has almost ruined her life for years. It isolates her from others, and causes her deep distress. I found myself loudly 'cursing' this affliction in Jesus' name and commanding it to leave. It feels like a roar from within. So I guess we could say that 'The Lion of Judah' (Aslan)had a roar through me. Presumptious? Well, it was not 'me' in the sense that I was content to be gentle and restful, and suddenly this came out.

Perhaps this is the answer to my questions about intercession. He will do his thing when it suits him... I am to rest and enjoy and express his love - and if needed the roar will come too. He is, after all, the Lion and the Lamb - so I can rest - and roar.

"Pray in the Spirit on all occasions, with all kinds of prayers..." Eph.5:18

Another parable from our cat

Last year I posted this story of our cat, Cinamon. She refused to sit on our knees. But prayer changed that. Read the curious story below. But now... I see another meaning in this story. Read the story - then the new awareness.

We have a cute and gentle cat - Cinamon by name - who was being robbed of the joy of sitting on our knees! About 18 months ago she took offense at a second cat we took on as a favour to an elderly neighbour who had to go into care. Fluff cat, was old and insistent that she alone belonged on our knees. So Cinamon backed off with much bad humour. Fluff cat went to the happy hunting ground over a year ago - and still Cinamon held her grudge.
But one day a few weeks ago, I thought "Why is this animal still refusing to sit on our knee? The old one has died!" So I took her in my arms and spoke firmly and kindly close to her heart.... "Sweetie pie, I know you were offended by Fluff girl, but she is not here any more. She is gone! You can now sit on our knees anytime you want. In Jesus name I release you from this offense and say 'Get on our knees!' This is where you belong!"
I honestly did not think it through... it was just spontaneous... and I did not think about it any further.
But the next evening she walked along the back of the couch and then down my shoulder and onto my knee - where she slept for some time. She continues to get on my knee or David's knee. The problem has gone! I continue to be amazed... but should I? Are we not to speak life and order into all creation?

So here is the new insight. What if we are the cat, and the Father is me? He calls us to come home to where we belong. There is no reason (except the perceptions in our head and heart) for us not to sit on his knee and feel 'at home'- to be comforted and delighted in. So what stops us? Offenses... a false picture of God? Mmmm. How about this prayer?
Father, speak to our spirit through your Spirit in us. Tell us where we belong and
how much you want us close to you. We need to know that 'the old is gone, and the new has come.'Because of Jesus there is now no reason at all not to 'sit on your knee.' Open our ears to your loving call. Thank you Jesus that you are the Way into the Father's arms.

The curious thing...

Hi there,
If you are new to this blog - I suggest you go back to about a year ago when I began a new learning curve and read the progression of discoveries.
Life has been full - and good. Now there are less deadlines, I hope to write more often.
So many prayers have been answered lately. I have cried out with groans for things to change, for years in some instances... and now they have. Is this about his timing? Maybe... but it is also about the fact that my heart is ready. There is a curious thing - we pray that situations will change, people will change... and underneath it all - he is aiming at US being changed. I have talked to a number of people on this... and we have agreed, that when our hearts are aligned with the Lord's, when his love has washed and renewed US, this sort of 'rubs off' on those people we consider 'need to be changed'. A friend said that since she had heart renewal, her previously antagonistic sister now calls her for prayer, and there no longer seems to be a barrier in HER heart. Curious, isn't it!

My husband and I are enjoying a new paradigm of viewing life through the lens of being held and loved by the Father... and it has now changed our hearts towards each other. Before - I had a list of things I felt we could not talk about and make progress... there seemed to be blank walls - but now, there is no list and no walls. And we haven't had to battle through hard conversations. It has all melted away in the Father's love.
You see, when Love comes, fears, demands, complaints, defensiveness, assumptions... they just melt away. I made some suggestions to my beloved about a more effective way to do something (touching his most precious area of self-worth) and he did not flinch one bit. I was astounded! He just said, 'OK, I'll try and remember that. Thanks' Not a flicker of defensiveness. What freedom! What a joy. This is 'the power of his love.'

Unquenchable Love

1. How do you view his cross? Do you ask that haunting question ‘What have I done?’ Are you conscious of your sin that put him there? Do you feel shame?
2. Do you question ‘Why?’ Why would he die for me? I am not worthy of such suffering. Do you feel unworthiness?
3. Do you feel grief at the depth of his suffering – Shuddering as you try to imagine how horrific it all was? Do you feel a deep sympathy for him?
4. Do you look with longing at such love, such amazing grace, such a stupendous plan that has dealt once and for all with the problem of sin and our separation from God and think ‘I wish it really worked for me?’
5. Or do you look with wonder – do you marvel at this master stroke of our loving God - who has changed the course of history by this one death…and say ‘Love so amazing, so divine shall have my soul, my life, my all.’ Does this love call you to surrender, to trust, to rest?
I read recently a book with the curious but wonderful title. ‘The Relentless tenderness of Jesus’. It’s a great word isn’t it ‘relentless’ – unstoppable – untiring – unceasing.
I remember standing many times by the Victoria Falls which borders Zambia and Zimbabwe. It is a huge waterfall a mile wide and a 400 ft. drop. A massive volume of water pours over it for 7-8 months of the year. It is mesmerising. It is relentless – pouring, pouring, pouring…. Absolutely fascinating. I thought many times - ‘This is like the love of God’ – relentless, unstoppable, undiminished, unending.
Every step Jesus took towards the cross was a demonstration of this relentless, unstoppable love conquering every obstacle every resistance, every challenge. He embraced humility in being made into a man, he ‘humbled himself’ says Philippians 3 – he left his glory behind and came as a naked baby to a peasant couple in an obscure village in an oppressed and brutalised land.
He pushed through misunderstandings, opposition, disappointments – he endured threats, insults, rejection, contrivances, plots …he was bruised by hard-heartedness, unbelief…. he was wounded by mockery, betrayal, anguish, heart-ache…. he experienced fears, unimaginable physical pain, inconceivable defilement, and felt devastating abandonment.
He was demonstrating to us that love never gives up – love never fails – love is not self-seeking – love always hopes – always perseveres. Unrelenting… unquenchable…
One writer – Baxter Kruger describes it like this:
The reality that drives the coming of Jesus Christ, and pushes him even to the cross, is the relentless and determined passion of the Father to have us as His beloved children. He will not abandon us. It has never crossed the Father's mind to forsake His original plans for us. Jesus is the proof.
Why did Jesus Christ die? What happened in his death? Jesus Christ died because the Father would not forsake us, because the Father had a dream for us that He would not abandon, because the love of the Father for us is endless and unflinching. And Jesus died because the only way to get from the Fall of Adam to the right hand of the Father was through the crucifixion of our old Adamic existence.
Jesus Christ did not go to the cross to change God; he went to the cross to change us. Jesus Christ went to the cross to call a halt to the Fall and undo it, to convert our fallen existence to his Father, to systematically eliminate our estrangement, so that he could accomplish his Father's dream for our adoption as his children.

Jesus was demonstrating to us that when the Fall happened the whole God-head said “NO!” – we will not walk away and abandon those we have created in love and for love.” Immediately, in that garden, a promise was given that this evil plan would be undone. And century after century God prepared a time and a place and a way that love would redeem this broken world. And it happened here at the cross. Here is what the world calls ‘foolishness’ but what God calls wisdom, and power, and glory – the perfectly perfect and completely complete answer to all sin and brokenness and destruction.

An exciting learning curve

The year has begun with so much going on. A son and his wife staying... the earthquake in Christchurch (south of us, about a 45 minute flight) with significant loss of life and huge damage... a 6 day school with such wonderful input - all needing to be absorbed... and lots of deadlines with teaching a course, sermons, articles etc. I am really looking forward to later in April where I intend to take some time out to read, ponder, pray and write.
The earthquake (and the one in Japan, with the terrible sunami) left us with a sense of heaviness of heart - and a deep awareness that life is fragile and precious - and we have no guarantees of time.

In all of this I feel I am in an exciting learning curve - learning to live from a different paradigm - of resting in the Father's love. I have become aware of places in my heart that still need to open up to his love. I had some prayer with a colleague and was able to let go hidden false beliefs, and hear new truths reverberate within me.

We discovered the so, so helpful teaching of Ed Piorek at www.thefatherlovesyou.com and have been devouring his books and DVDs. Also tapped into Baxter Kruger, a wonderful and articulate theologian and teacher - catch him on www.dancinggod.org - his understanding of the Trinity is astounding.

It feels like I have new lenses on - and am seeing the Scriptures, the Lord, and life from a whole new viewpoint. It is all about living out of the heart, not the mind - about being a child of a delighted Father - about living a life of love (not simply 'faith') and this changes everything.

A thought to ponder on: What was your father's message to you about life? Mine was 'don't let people down - always be responsible'. Others have said it was 'Why can't you get it right?'or 'You'll never amount to much.' We subconsciously live out of that message - until we unravel it.
Our Heavenly Father says, 'You are my beloved child, in you I am well pleased.' This, we must live out of. It changes everything!

Your sighs are his longings

New Revelation

Many of us are coming into a new thing right now, with a new call or new responsibilities or a new role.
What does it mean for you this year? What does it mean for your relationship with God?

In this upgrade, God wants to declare something else to you about Himself. You see, God always wants to be something significant for us. The question shouldn’t be, ‘‘Why is this happening to me?’’ The ‘‘why’’ question is never answered on earth. It is the wrong question. It should be, ‘‘What is it that God wants to be for me now that He couldn’t be at any other time, in any other way?’’ What is it about your current situation that is designed to bring you into a deeper relationship with God? Every circumstance in our life is about that – difficulty and blessing. If you’re being severely challenged right now, God wants to be something for you. If you’re walking in incredible favor and transformation, He’s showing you His nature in that, as well.

God wants to declare what He is becoming to you. Like Moses, you have fresh favor to ask Him to go deeper. God is the sneakiest Person on the planet. You cannot have a desire for Him that is unmatched by His desire for you. In fact, if you really want to know where you are with God, check out what is in your own heart. What are you sighing about right now? During those times you sit in the presence of God and your heart sighs for Him, what is it you are sighing for? Understand that your sigh originated in His heart. It is His longing for you, reaching out to you!

When you understand what it is your spirit is sighing for, you will understand exactly what He wants to do. You cannot have a desire or longing for God that He did not put there. Your heart for Him is simply a reflection of His heart for you; God has us longing for the things He most wants to give us.

A purposeful God

When God showed Moses His glory, it was not a spontaneous act. God was being purposeful with His servant; He had this planned for quite a while. It was part of His step-by-step plan to reveal Himself to Moses. What is the nature of your current request of God? In your relationship with Him, what are you asking for? What is the Holy Spirit doing in your life right now? What is He provoking in you? What are you longing for? These are questions you must think through and meditate on, because God’s plan for the next phase of your call is already in action. He has been purposeful with you from the very beginning.

‘‘However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.’’ John 16:13


From The Nature of God by Graham Cooke

Recommended resources – see Graham Cooke’s books and journals on www.brilliantbookhouse.com

Is Surrender Sweet?

For some years before I met the Lord, I was afraid of 'surrendering my life' to Jesus. It felt as if I would lose something, I would no longer 'be myself'. This was a lie, a myth in my head. I think there was a mournful edge to songs about surrender then, that made it seem like a death, not an entry into true life that it was really.

When I finally did, at age 30, it was totally life-giving! I came alive to God, to the Word, to the Spirit, to Jesus as a real person. I 'kicked myself', so to speak, for resisting it for so long. Clearly we were created to live as 'His', to live as vessels filled with his life, as those in partnership with him. No-one said it like that. It was described in negative terms, not positive.

I am delighted, as I explore further the Father's love, to hear over and over again, "We are created to receive love, and give it away." Anything less is not living out our potential, our whole reason for living. Surrender to love, surrender to life is so sweet, so restful, such a relief from 'trying hard' to be something we cannot on our own. It is the place of rest that Jesus promises. His yoke is restful and life-giving. It sounds an oxymoron, but it is not. We were not created to live any other way.

Living in this sweet surrender is like a duck taking to water for the first time - Or a young fledgeling taking to the air, or a caterpillar emerging from the crysallis ready to fly - or a hot air balloon rising to the sky. Let us get the right picture in our minds and an expectation in our hearts, and throw off the myths, the life-sucking lies, and get flying!

Praying his prayers

Last Sunday I heard a prayer that declared what God had for us, not asked if he would do these things. It was a faith prayer - born out of a word or vision planted in the heart of the woman praying. "Lord you will.... Thank you!"
Ahhhh but... you may say. How can we know the will of God that precisely? A good question. This is the work of the Spirit. He quickens our hearts in prayer, or even just in daily life, while reading Scripture or hearing a story. It is like something grabs your guts (inner being!) and squeezes and everything within you says "Yes!" Like when Mary greeted Elizabeth and the child 'leapt in her womb'. Our spirit is hearing His Spirit and leaps for joy.

I have also heard a woman pray with fervour, energy and zeal and when she has finished say "I am SO excited at what God is doing!" and others look at her blankly!
She has been quickened by the Spirit with a longing, a burden... as if the Lord has said "Here, pray this for a while, because that is what I want to do, and I need someone to bring it to birth."

Of such prayers, of faith and birthing, do things happen in the Kingdom. This is his way. And we can be part of it. It requires us getting our eyes up - off our selves and our struggles - and recognising he is sovereign and he is at work - and he births new things through willing hearts who will be open to his enlivening voice.
More Lord... we need these kind of prayers. They are the pumping of your heart beat for us. Keep us expectant.

An astounding picture of heaven

from "The Sacred Romance" Brent Curtis and John Eldredge 1997

"Our longing for intimacy gives us the greatest scent of the joys that lie ahead. Being left out is one of life's most painful experiences. Throughout our lives, each one of us lives with a constant nagging that we never quite fit in, we never truly belong. So we hide parts of ourselves to try and fit in, or kill our desire to be an insider, rather than let our longing lead us toward the true intimacy for which we were designed.
On the other hand there is the joy of having someone save a place for us. We walk into a crowded room at church or at a dinner party and someone across the way waves us over, pointing to a chair he's held on to especially for us. For a moment we feel a sense of relief, a taste of being on the inside.

Now consider the words of Jesus in John 14:2 - "I'm going to prepare a place for you." He is saving a place in heaven especially for each of us. When we walk into the crowded excitement of the wedding feast of the Lamb, with the sound of a thousand conversations, laughter and music, the clinking of glasses, and one more time our heart leaps with the hope that we might be let into the sacred circle, we will not be disappointed. We'll be welcomed to the table by our Lover himself. No one will have to scramble to find another chair, to make room for us at the end of the table, or rustle up a place setting. There will be a seat with our name on it, held open at Jesus' command for us and no other........

Heart or head?

I am planning some teaching sessions on prayer. I love the description someone has of meditation. He said it was 'descending WITH the mind into the heart'.
Some people engage life directly from the heart - we say of them, "They are all heart." Others engage life mostly from the head. They ponder, analyse, calculate, question, study and learn. They can be considered too 'detatched'. But for them, the heart can burst into flame at any point. It is a case of looking for, or falling over the doorways.

Clearly for me, a head person, water is a doorway to heart encounters. And sometimes a phrase, in the Scriptures or something I am reading, will just captivate and hold me and everything within me is suddenly vibrating with joy, or wonder, or tenderness or love.

Over these last three weeks, with some visits away, then some days at home - I have found it hard to find those doorways. I 'went with the flow' of those I was with... but it left me feeling rather empty. I must, next holiday season, be less accomodating to others, and more to the need of these doorways to my heart. I am bouyed by the knowledge that in a few weeks I will be on a 6 day retreat where I expect more heart encounters to occur.

I need to go back to letting the Scripture assist me in 'descending with the mind into the heart' - a simple but effective way of meeting the Lord in his word.

A superb symbol

We have had a week by the sea (and more coming soon). I was walking along a deserted beach early in the morning. The waves pounded rythmically on the shore - and I looked out to the vast expanse of ocean. We were on the west coast of the North Island of New Zealand. I was facing towards South Africa - thousands of miles away! And the song came to mind - "Here is love, vast as the ocean, loving-kindness as the flood..." James Jordan has said, 'Why did the writer use this image of the vast ocean to describe the love of God? Probably because one day he fell into it!'

I was moved to worship, standing by that vast ocean in front of me. It is a superb symbol of what God has called us into - immersed us in! His vast ocean of love and goodness and mercy and kindness and richness. Just thinking about it washed me again in his love. I fell into this ocean years ago when I was 30. My sense of being held by his love stayed for some time, but then I lost touch - and dryness and sinful choices robbed me for some time of this joy. Then again, it returned one day by the sea, as I pondered what it was to be emmersed in Christ. And now my understanding has enlarged (we are to grow in grace ...what is freely given, and understanding, how our minds and hearts interpret and view what is freely given) so that I can recall and return to that grace simply and easily.