The unsatisfying symbol

After taking communion this morning at church, I thought 'Why would Jesus have instituted a symbol or ritual that could become empty and meaningless?' We take communion every Sunday - and I am not sure I want it that way. It seems hard to make it 'meaningful' each time. Many looked very disengaged. And I always wonder if it keeps us too plugged into his death for us - and not launching into his life and Kingdom and eternity... and all those other great things. Hmmm...

And tonight - again in the wee small hours (which is often when my head connects with my barely conscious musings and allows them to surface)... after a visit to friends and a lovely meal and precious conversation...we were given a luscious, very heavy Christmas cake to take home, dense with fruit soaked for two weeks she said, and the top smothered in all manner of dried fruits, and almonds... yuuuum! We had a tiny bite each when we got home - and David said, "I would prefer it with custard" because it is so very rich. Feasting, rich food...such is Christmas.

Then I thought again of communion. We take a tiny square of bread, and a thimble sized amount of juice (or a sip of a common cup.) Mmmm is that an inadequate symbol for the rich feasting we are called to enjoy 'at his table'? Would that bread satisfy a real hunger? Would that juice satisfy a real thirst? Does this tiny taste in any way speak of the lavish love and the abundant grace that is there for us. I pictured the broken body - the whole body - not a tiny little bit... and the blood gushing from his side - a river, not a thimbleful! Something doesn't make sense here.

Does our neat and tidy and tiny symbols speak loudly enough to us of the rich feast? My husband decided some while back to take the biggest piece of bread on the plate - because he believes in abundant grace! But here's the worry - are we also just nibbling on HIM, just sipping a drop now and then? Do we really hunger and thirst and say 'I will not let you go until you lavishly bless me?!!!' Have we in our deepest heart a sense of the mighty ocean of love for us that flows from the Father's heart - or the groaning table of grace that we can feast from. Are our images too small - so our expectations are too small?

The Scripture so often uses the word 'ALL'. "All grace for all situations.." "The God of all comfort.." No limits here. No tiny morsels.

What if next time I led communion I talked about this - and used lavish amounts of bread and red juice... ? That would startle us all! But the next time - would we just go back to our tiny portions. Sigh... what to do? Father - your wisdom please?