Been realising there are emotional/spiritual 'holes' in me. Whenever I was sick as a child, I was not comforted or fussed over much. I had to be stoic and accept that the household just went on without me. This has made it hard for me to receive the comfort of the Father (and his nurturing 'mother' qualities) in times of pain or distress.
Last night I was sick with a bad chest and cough. My ribs felt bruised from the violent coughing. David wanted to take me to the emergency doctor at 10pm at night. I said wait till morning. I dosed up with everything I could lay my hands on, and David anointed me with oil and I tucked up in the bed in the spare room so David could have a good sleep. I lay there just saying over and over, "Father, I am yours - you are loving me and healing me now." I slept soundly and woke without the cough or the bad throat, and feel almost normal again. Wow!
But I realise there are these holes - gaps in what I can receive and realise. More Father. More of your nurture, comfort and healing of my heart, my emotional make-up, not just my body.
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