Finding Father's heart

So you recognise you have an orphan heart - and know you need Father's love? What now?
1. Own the walls that have been built up to protect your heart. All of us have been hurt at some time by parents or authority figures. So we build walls to protect our vulnerable hearts. We adopt a persona - the joker - the tough one - the pleaser - the bookworm - the knowledgeable one - constantly busy - task orientated - mad about sport... Or we become unco-operative, questioning everything, resisting authority. We all have walls we hide behind. They are a natural defense mechanism. The trouble is they also shut our hearts off from the love of our Perfect Father - our Abba. We need to own this, admit it to him and ourselves.
2. Dismantle them with forgiveness and asking forgiveness. Once owned, we can then dismantle them by firstly forgiving those who wounded us - often unintentionally. They were themselves wounded and broken people. They could not give us the perfect, unconditional love we were created to function with. We need to forgive them - release them from debt - tear up the IOUs. But then we need also to recognise that we also sinned, against them, by shutting off our hearts. It helps pull down the walls if we write a letter to our parents, admitting the ways we shut off our hearts and withheld love and honour and asking their forgiveness. Perhaps we cannot send it - they have passed on - so reading it aloud will help us. But if they are still alive maybe one day it will be right to humble ourselves before them and speak about this. We can be assured the grace of our Father will help us do this, and it will soften the hearts of our parents towards us also.
3. Keep asking Father to wash and heal your heart. Only the love of Father God can wash and heal our deep wounds of rejection or offense that caused our closed hearts. Keep inviting him to do this wonderful work.
4. Become 'as a little child' - with humility, simplicity, and need. Jesus said a number of times that we are to become 'as little children'. You see the Father's love must come to our 'little child' heart. Our emotions never mature or grow up. The way we handle them does, but feelings feel the same as a child, adult or senior.
So our little child heart needs to be open to our Heavenly Daddy, our Abba, our Papa... for it is not the accomplished adult who sits on Daddy's knee, but the little child, who knows they need love and affection, comforting and encouraging. When we come empty-handed, trusting and dependant, THEN he can 'Father' us and comfort us and pour in his tender love.
It is astounding when this happens. We feel safe and secure, we feel very special to him, we know we are precious and a joy to him. Anything we experience on earth like this with parents, grandparents or others is just a 'taste' of what we can experience with the perfect love of our perfect Daddy. This is what he created us for. Make that journey towards his completely satisfying love. Get others to help you. It can happen in a brief time as we set our heart to pull down the walls. Do it today.

More Signs of an Orphan

Orphans live with comparisons. Their image of themselves is low so they see others as more blessed, more loved - getting all the breaks.
A son/daughter revels in being affirmed and valued and precious to their Father. So they don't need to compare. They are content, and know their loving Daddy will not withhold any good thing from them. They know they are loved even when they fail.

Orpans seek comfort in counterfeit affections, addictions, cmpulsions, escapism, busyness, accomplishments and hyper-religious activity...believing the busier they are the happier they are.
Sons/daughters find true comfort in resting the Father's presence and love. They can be alone, and be quiet easily. Nothing else compares to this quiet resting in his love.

Orphans often relate to peers through competition, rivalry or jealousy. They cannot genuinely rejoice of the success or advancement of another because they are not secure in themselves.
Sons/daughters value others and sincerely rejoice in their successes. They honour them, seeking unity and humility.

Orphans often resort to accusation and exposure of others faults while denying or trying to hide their own. They don't feel good about themselves, so attempt to make others look worse and so build themselves up. They evidence criticalness, control, possessiveness or lack of respect and honour.
Sons/daughters seek in love to 'cover' others with faults and sins. This is not hiding, but protecting them from humiliation and destructive exposure as this is resolved because they love the person and want them restored.

Orphans struggle with authority figures, usually because they have been wounded by them. They feel vulnerable and are suspicious and distrustful of any authority but their own. They feel that supporting the goals of another is allowing themselves to be used.
Daughters/sons feel relaxed and confident and open and teachable towards authority figures. They are not a threat. The past hurts have been healed by their Abba, and they are secure in him as their ultimate authority.

Orphans have difficulty receiving correction. They take it as a personal offense or a rejection. They justify themselves, focus on the faults of others, blame others, get angry and accuse and shut their spirits off to those trying to help them.
Sons/daughters are able to say "I am sorry, I was wrong" easily. They want to be changed, and receive correction without fear, seeing it as valuable in their maturing process. They are sad they have "offended love" and not acted lovingly.

Orphans have difficulty expressing love to those they disapprove of. They avoid them. Unconditional love is foreign to them.
For daughters/sons who are drawing on Abba's love daily, they want to give it way to all they meet. They are open, transparent and affectionate, seeking how they can meet the needs of others. They feel compassion or sadness for others, not disapproval.

Orphans live life as if they don't have a home. They feel as if they are away from safe harbour and don't know how to get back. Nothing satisfies, nothing feels permanent, nowhere feels like home.
Sons/daughters are at rest and at peace in the safe harbour of their Father's love. They feel at home with Daddy. Whatever the storms of life, they have a safe place in his love.

(Highly recommend 'Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sons' by Jack Frost
Also his first book 'Experiencing Father's Embrace'
They are revolutionary!)

Our condescending Father

This may sound weird, but I am on my knees, late at night, writing this with the laptop on the bed in our spare room, where I sometimes sleep if working late or needing space. It seems appropriate.
I feel a sense of wonder. So much seems to be opening up in my understanding and my heart is regularly melting within.
I have been pondering on our view of Jesus... as 'anointed and empowered by the Spirit' to do the Father's will. We look at this and say "we must be like this." And it's true... but my experience has been that it is sporadic - times knowing he is flowing in us or inspiring or giving insight or prayer...and other times we feel empty and lost and so 'unspiritual'. But the key to Jesus' life was first of all that who he was and how he operated all came from Father - then the Spirit came to empower his ministry. He was rooted and established in his life with his Father - with Abba, Daddy. He didn't say, "I only say what the Spirit tells me, or do what the Spirit does..." It was Father he emulated, it was Abba he spoke from. How have we missed this?

I find two things happening to me, now I have met my Papa, my Daddy. When I was up town shopping, everyone I looked at my heart said "Father loves you so very much - you are so precious to him." Everyone! It just leapt up from within.
Then I find I am happy to be simple, dependent, uncluttered - and constantly asking my Daddy for his interaction and thoughts and direction on my daily tasks. It is as if I am a little child holding his hand. Previously I was easily driven with tasks, deadlines, oughts... with anxiety and stress gnawing at me off and on that I had to speak truth to to steady myself. That seems so foreign to this life with my Papa. It is a wonder... and a delight... and "more than I could imagine."

We marvel at the wonder of the cross, at the giving and suffering for us. But is this not too a thing of wonder, that Almighty Father, Lord of the Universe, should condescend to dwell in us, and reveal his heart, and pour out his tenderest love upon us. Such is his good pleasure!!!

What's an 'orphan heart?'

An orphan heart is one which has not met it's true Father and felt his love. In the story of the prodigal son, both sons evidenced orphan hearts. Hearts that had not known the true nature of their Father's heart and felt 'beloved' and secure.
The younger son took all he could and went off and wasted it. Grasping, rebelling, distancing himself, using 'partying' to fill the void. It was only in deep need that he saw - had a flash of insight - that he was better off back home with his Dad.
The elder son evidenced that he felt he had 'slaved' for his Father, and was unaware that everything was his and he was in full partnership with his Father.

All these are signs of the orphan heart.
Orphans see God as a Master to appease. Must pray more, serve more... always more to do to please him - always feeling inadequate.
A son/daughter sees God as a loving Father who accepts them unconditionally. They know they don't have to 'earn' anything.
Orphans are independent and self-reliant. They feel they cannot trust anyone so have to make it happen themselves.
Sons/daughters are interdependent, knowing they need Father's love and wisdom, and the love and gifts of the community of faith.
Orpans live by the love of law. They want rules, principles, regulations, and obedience.
Sons/daughters live by "the law of love." They see the greatest truth is living to receive Father's love and give it away to the next person they meet. They know that "love is the fulfillment of the law" (Rom.13:10b)
Orphans are insecure and cover it up with trying to do all the right things. They rarely experience inner peace and rest.
Sons/daughters are resting in the Father's embrace daily and know their security in God does not depend on their behaviour, but on the grace of God and the work of Jesus.
Orphans seek approval and praise, but can never feel secure and satisfied.
Sons/daughters know they are totally accepted in God's love. They already have acceptance in Christ.
(Taken from "Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship" Jack Frost.
More coming...

Our deferring Trinity

So many new awarenesses... feel like I need a fortnight off to explore them all!

Been looking at how Jesus related to his Father. He continually said "I only say what the Father says... I only do what the Father is doing." Clearly his eyes were continually on his Father, much as a little boy would watch and imitate his dad. This is a picture of a dependent child - not a masterful adult. Not my will, not my words, not my actions, not my power...but His. If Jesus needed his Daddy (Abba) then how much more do we?

And then there is the deference. Jesus points us to Father - The Spirit points us to Jesus - and the Father says "Look at my Son, I love him so much. Listen to him." Jesus said, "No-one comes to me except the Father draws him." Then he says, "No-one comes to the Father except by me." The Father draws us to Jesus, who in turn is the Way to the Father, and the Spirit speaks into our hearts enabling us to cry "Abba, Father" and to exalt Jesus as Lord. WOW! What a picture of the nature of love. Deferring, exalting another, adding to and assisting one another.

We can't do this of ourselves. Our orphan, unloved hearts are not capable. But once the perfect love of our perfect Father washes and invades our hearts we can! Increasingly and more naturally. What a way to live! Secure in the love of Abba, Jesus and the Spirit and free to defer to others without losing anything. "This is life, that they may know me and the one who sent me."

Let your lion lie down with your lamb

This is from Henri J. M. Nouwen 'The Inner Voice of Love'
There is within you a lion and a lamb. Spiritual maturity is the ability to let lamb and lion lie down together. Your lion is your adult, agressive self. It is your initiative-taking and decision-making self. But there is also your fearful, vulnerable lamb, the part of you that needs affection, support, affirmation and nurturing.
When you heed only your lion you will find yourself overextended and exhausted. When you take notice only of your lamb, you will easily become a victim of your need for other people's attention. The art of spiritual living is to fully claim your lion and your lamb. Then you can act assertively without denying your own needs. And you can ask for affection and care without betraying your talent to offer leadership.
Developing your identity as a child of God in no way means giving up your responsibilities. Likewise, claiming your adult self in no way means that you cannot become increasingly a child of God. In fact, the opposite is true. The more you can feel safe as a child of God, the freer you will be to claim your mission in the world as a responsible human being. And the more you claim that you have a unique task to fulfil for God, the more open you will be to letting your deepest need be met.
The Kingdom of peace that Jesus came to establish begins when your lion and your lamb can freely and fearlessly lie down together.

Meeting Father's heart

David and I have just spent a week at a Fatherheart school in Taupo (NZ). It was revolutionary! Hearts were healed and bathed in the Father's love - ours, our friend we went with, and heaps of others there. It is a combination of truth and love. And as the truth helps us see our own hearts, and realise what his heart is truly like - the team love us just by holding us when we weep, and breathing his love over us. I discovered my heart was shut off from my Father's love because of an experience as a child when I was left at a hospital to have my tonsils out around 3 yrs. I have experienced God's love before, but never like this - and never with the whole change of outlook - a real paradigm shift - like this.
A key understanding is that Jesus related to God as Abba, Daddy, and his stance was one of a child, dependent on his Daddy to show him what to do and give him the ability to do at all times. If we want to be like Jesus we too must become as little children to our Daddy. Matt.11:25-26. But our hearts often have walls around, due to hurtful experiences - and we release that through forgiveness and opening our hearts again. We can know, as Jesus did, that we are Father's 'beloved child, in whom I am well pleased.' And what joy flows!
You can get DVDs or CDs of this material - or go to their events. All on www.fatherheart.net

Unexpected Grace - reflections on John 4

The meeting was unexpected,
even more so the speaking.
After all, she was a Samaritan, and a woman,
shunned and ashamed.
He broke convention greeting her,
(the unconventional woman, drawing water
at an unconventional hour)
meeting need with need, “Give me a drink.”
This was the first grace, the unexpected meeting.

Then there was the second, he offered her a gift.
She didn’t know she needed it,
or what it really was,
but he offered it all the same.
“Living water,” he called it,
“so you’ll never thirst again.”
This was the second grace, which only later flowed.

The third was startling, from a complete stranger.
He put his finger on her shame.
“Go call your husband..... “
and out it all came,
dragged into his healing light.
No need to hide anymore, what relief.....what grace.
(How did he know? Was he a prophet?)

The fourth grace was very strange.
A profound theology lesson on worship,
“in spirit and in truth...”
at the well, in the heat of the day,
to a gentile, an immoral woman!
Why theology and not admonishment?
Why worship and not law?
(Did he know her that well?)
‘Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.....’

Yet another grace wells up, the joy of being fully known.
“Come see a man who told me everything I ever did!”
Releasing truth, the freedom to be fully loved,
the exuberance of the light!
This fifth grace flowed over, unexpectedly,
to water the thirst of many others.

The sixth grace was abundant -
“Many believed in him because of the woman’s testimony.”
The ripened harvest was gathered in,
and the Grace-giver was well fed!
His friends, meanwhile, remained quite puzzled.
A harvest in Samaria?
But then, grace is usually unexpected,
as well as abundant.

Why pray for our neighbours?

For most of us, our live are very full. Jobs, family, friends, colleagues, church responsibilities, home maintenance, hobbies, and recreation fill our days.
But where we live is part of God’s plan. Even if you did not ask the Lord for his direction when you chose to live there, God intends for you to be a doorkeeper to his presence and his power in the neighbourhood where you live. Everywhere we, his people are, is both a sacred place and a mission centre.

Secondly, we are assigned to be priests for every area of our influence. “For you are a kingdom of priests…” (1 Peter 2:9) The responsibility of a priest is to take the needs of others into the holy place before God and speak to him on their behalf. We delight in being free to come to him for ourselves, but that is only part of what ‘priesthood’ means. We need to take upon ourselves the names of people whom God has given us influence with or responsibility for, and bring them regularly to God’s throne. We are priests for our street and our workplace. Will you ask the Lord to put on you a priestly prayer garment? When you enjoy his presence, will you remember to take others with you into that holy place and present their needs before God?

Thirdly, God wants all to be saved, to come to know him and enjoy his favour. We have no idea who will receive him or who will reject him. So we cannot be selective about who we should share his love with. Everyone deserves an opportunity to know him. His Shepherd heart aches for all who are lost.
Look at Luke 15 – the lost coin, the lost sheep and the lost son. Why did Jesus tell these three stories? What are the common elements in these stories? The longing of the one who searches. The joy when they find... SELAH! As you see your work colleague or your neighbour or their house let this thought run through your mind, “God wants you to come to know him. Jesus died so you can enjoy the favour of God.” I guarantee your heart will begin to ache with his concern and you will find yourself open to the voice of the Spirit prompting you as to what you can say and do about it. This is how truth changes us inwardly.

Fourthly, in your street there are people hungry to know God. Not sure about this one? Don’t you think that in 100 people there would be two or three (or more?) who are seeking God, or curious about him? Around 33 houses have, on average, 100 people in them. What if you walked up and down your street, or your part of it, and counted out 30 or so houses? Then you said to yourself, “In this area there are some people hungry to know God – and God is longing to meet them – and I can help them meet him.” Try it – and I will guarantee that your heart will become hungry to find who they are. Then you’ll begin to wonder how you can connect them to the Father who seeks them.
Taken from my prayer website www.prayerchangeslives.org.nz - devoted to provoking and equipping prayer in churches and homes.

The seed needs the soil

Dutch Sheets writes such helpful books on prayer and spiritual growth. I was reading 'Roll away your stone' and was struck by two truths I knew, but he put very clearly.
1. When we are born again, made new, we have a new spirit, but an old soul. The new spirit is pure gift. The mind, will, and emotions are BEING renewed - and need our co-operation.
2. Truth that sets us free comes in SEED form, and it needs the soil of our faith and co-operation to grow and produce that freedom.

He explains the strongholds that develop in us over the years, and gives wonderful examples of how truth applied and declared has done it's double work of breaking down the old and building up the new.

I find myself wanting the 'quick fix' - the ministry prayer or prophecy that will break off things in me that need to go... and sometimes that has happened. But more often it is cultivating the soil so the truth seeds can grow and do their cleansing and renewing work.

New truth has been planted in me recently, that has given me an expanding sense (like being pregnant!) that something really good is going to burst forth. It feels like layers are being peeled off, and I feel somewhat vulnerable and unsure...but the new growth has not yet appeared. I am restless, there is an inner ache of longing... constant prayer bubbling up... but I cannot be passive. Jesus said "The seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it (yes, doing that) and by persevering produce a crop."

Lord - enable me to persevere in the truth... keep the soil moist - sit in the sunlight of your smile, and delight in what is emerging.

He has made us for himself...

Augustine said, "He has made us for him, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in him."
I was quoting this in a message last Sunday and it hit me as I said it - "He had made us for himself..." not for ourselves! He fashioned us by his hand, he breathed his life in us, he has ordered our days and our place and time in history... and through Christ he has redeemed us and brought us home... and yet - we still barely register this astounding fact - he has made us, and redeemed us, for himself!

This is why he goes to such extraordinary lengths to get us back - why he pays the ultimate price for the way to be made open. He made us for himself and HIS heart is restless until we find our rest in him!! We are so 'self' conscious when we say "how could he love me?" It is not about me - it is about him and his yearning heart. And we live with such a huge self-consciousness instead of a huge HIM-consciousness. Such is the deceptive nature of the fall, of sin, and the world it has created. The reality is that the more God-conscious we become - ie the more enamoured we are of our Abba, Daddy and our Lord and elder brother Jesus - the more we become our true selves, full of "righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit..." - and the more we are aligned with his heart.

"You made us for yourself..."
What would happen to our hearts, our minds, our focus and our fruitfulness if we soaked in this wonderful reality? I am expecting to find out soon - because I cannot get this phrase out of my head. As I turn it over in my mind, and on my lips may it descend to my heart and fill my soul, and open the floodgates of my spirit in praise and revelation.